What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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