you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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