I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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