It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize