Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
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her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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