didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
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i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
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I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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