i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
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That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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