My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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