and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize