quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
