Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize