Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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