The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize