I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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