my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize