they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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