A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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