your parents love me but you hate me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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