Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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