My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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