Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize