All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize