I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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