when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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