Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
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Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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