yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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