in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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