9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize