You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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