you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
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But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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