Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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