My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize