just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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