bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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