Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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