Having a random hookup so left but love u
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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