Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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