I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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