am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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