I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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