i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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