Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize