I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize