Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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