By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize