She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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