there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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