I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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