Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We have started to decorate penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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