She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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